#DateNightPlanners #14DaysofLove #NYC #ValentinesDay #WeSpreadLove

Day 10: "Repetition creates routine"

"He doesn’t need to be in the flesh in front of you to pray for him!"

Day 10: 2/10/16

Most mornings when I am on point I sit and I have a lil one on one with my Lord, I go through praising him, thanking him, asking for guidance, then I pray for family, friends and my husband. Yes, my husband. Now just to be upfront, I am 100% single, but I still pray for my husband…Why? Because I believe he is out there, waking up getting ready for his day too and I pray for the Lord to bring him wisdom and clarity so that he may learn to be a better man today….then one day that man will be full in the spirit and trust in the fact that he knows the Lord and know I am his wife.

My Godmother is coming into town tomorrow for my baptism this Sunday, she has always had a way of spiritually guiding me so it means the world to me she will be here for my special day! A few months back she challenged me to not just pray for my husband, but to get it down on paper in a letter to the Lord. Now looking back at Day 8 of the DateNight Planners 14 Days of Love is Intention, I truly believe this is something powerful about writing it down, seeing it on paper, letting those words sink in and then doing it. I went one step further than writing my letter to God about my husband, I wrote a letter to my husband, talking about what challenges me today as a single woman and how I could see the space in my life and heart for him. If you read back to my other blogs you will find my love of writing letters, so I haven’t stopped at just one letter, I write often to him about small things that are the big things and I visualize him one day reading these letters and amazed just how much I always cared for  him, even before we met.

So single lady or single man, trust in the fact that you are whole today or working towards a place of wholeness, and trusting in the Lord with the timing, place and future spouse.  Doing this  will take the pressure off your back and only allow you to fully love yourself better each day, getting the opportunity to grow into yourself, love yourself before sharing  it with anyone else, but more importantly giving you the time and foundation of your relationship with the Lord before anyone else.

Write your letters today, as we know repetition creates routine and before you know it you will be doing it when your spouse comes into your life and then on every opportunity you get to tell them how much they mean to you, how thankful you are and how much you love them. 

Day 6: "Do you boo. Do you."

Did you take time today to do one thing to nurture, pamper, love yourself? We all know you can’t be the best lover without fully loving yourself so how about today you do you boo. Do you.

Day 6: 2/6/16

Here are just a few ideas to DO YOU today! Go ahead and Treat Yo'Self! 

  • Grab a movie only you would enjoy
  • Get a Mani Pedi
  • Buy yourself some flowers
  • Get lost, go for a walk leave your phone at home and see what the world wants to show you
  • Go to your favorite restaurant and order your favorite meal(bonus points for doing it alone!)
  • Get to your favorite museum and lose yourself in culture
  • Write a letter to your best friend and put it in the mail today
  • Try and remember what your favorite movie was as a kid and re-watch it(bonus points if you watch it in your pajamas eating cereal)
  • Do an extra-long work out, you know you feel good after it
  • Buy an extra pricey bottle of champagne and celebrate you
  • Go to that fancy coffee shop, grab a flat white and the book you have been putting off and dive in

Day 5: "I still have that letter."

Before email, texts, skype, sexting, and phone calls…. It was all about the letter. How did we get so far away from this beautiful form of communication? 

Day 5: 2/5/16

cher.png

I didn’t get to have a pager when I was in Junior or High School, all I wanted was that shiny white Motorola pager Cher had on Clueless….nope, my mother put her foot down. So there I was stuck to the house phone to talk to boys, or boys call me, and well…that was super awkward sitting in the kitchen talking about how our day was… as if it was juicy at all!  I was 17 years old when I met a great boy who lived a couple hours away, we found this special way  of communicating that allowed us to think and express how we felt, taking up hours of wasted teenage time, and started writing letters. The first letter was the first letter I ever received from anyone, let alone a boy…. I still have that letter. We wrote so many letters they started to accumulate, and we then shared a journal. I would write in it for a month and send it to him, he would do the same. This journal went on for years and it still is one of my favorite possessions I will never let go of. Today I still write letters, they aren’t as frequent as I would like… although now I think I need to write one today! 

The ability to write a letter, to express how your feeling not only takes time, intent to connect, but it also allows the writer to focus on each word, of each sentence, all the while thinking of their subject. Now that’s mad sexy romantic!

In an age where everything is so fast, I encourage you to stop today, write a letter, actually put it in the mail and send it to the one you love. Imagine them next Tuesday or Wednesday, days before Valentine’s day they go and get their mail, going through bills and junk mail and they see your letter with your handwriting and their heart sinks. They didn’t expect a thing, and there they are in near tears reading about how you feel about them, and who they are in your life and how thankful you are for them.

A simple yet beautiful letter could be their very favorite possession to keep forever. 

 

Write.jpg

Day 4: "Talk about Patience"

When I told my mother about DateNight Planner's 14 Days of Love, she cut me off(pretty common in my family of strong women) and said "PATIENCE!... talk about Patience!" and I laughed and said "OK, no problem mom, Patience... it's on my list." 

Day 4: 2/4/16

I went back a lil later to think about the many times in my life, in my sorted relationships where I was inpatient, wanted what I wanted WHEN I wanted it. I think we all would love to live in a world that caters to our every whim and need, especially in today's world when you can have McDonalds delivered to your doorstep... its easy to make a command, put it in an app and boom... SATISFACTION. 

Life doesn't work like that, relationships definitely don't work like that, and most hearts take some time to process words and actions too. Being patient in a fight, when your waiting on your partner, when you don't think you can deal with dissatisfaction any longer can be a difficult place to sit. This is where keeping taking a beat,  holding on, letting the moment process can turn patience into an action...better yet, non-action. 

Taking a beat can change a life,  letting yourself breath through the upsets of life can really have a long term reaction, because let's face it, most of the time we don't have all the facts and if we shoot from the hip we aren't allowing information to process to our heads then our hearts. 

I challenge you in your next UGH to stop, think about the whole picture and let a beat go by and hopefully some patience will sink in. Let the patience do its action!

Day 3: "What do YOU wanna do?"

We have all been there, "So.... what do you wanna do?"  "Ugh... I don't know... what do YOU wanna do?" and this cycle goes on a few more times till you both get bored and go to the same restaurant you always go to.... its a fine place to eat, the food it good, you like the people... but its the SAME PLACE you always go to.  WHY? I'ts simple, nobody planned the night out!

Day 3: 2/3/16

We get busy, this is the norm these day, we make priorities based on our needs and some how, some way the person you decided to share your life with slowly makes their way down the list. SO NOT COOL, but hey it happens. There are many reasons why, but most would agree it happens because a couple of reasons. Boredom, really just a lack of creativity and resources, like time, money, and information.  I think we all agree our partner deserves more than that! It's time to get creative and carve out some time for that person you love most on this earth.

Today you have 11 more days to plan this out, I have faith in you! A good place to start is thinking about something your partner loves  but hasn't done in a long time, it could be as simple as a pedicure, hockey game or their favorite museum. Another direction could be something your partner has never done, but  always wanted to try.... cocktail making class, flamenco dancing or going to the gun range. The possibilities are endless, just got to put some time and thought into it.

NOW IS THE TIME TO START PLANNING!!!!!

All else fails call on me and I can plan it all out for you, It is what I do for a living!!! 

 

 

Day 2: "Are you hungry?"

Day 2: 2/2/16 Happy Groundhog's Day! 

My cousin Lydia let me in on some wonderful relationship advice, no matter what time... whether your partner is  angry,  sad, happy... asking "Are you hungry?" always has a reaction, especially asked from a place of love!  Let's face is, sometimes words don't do justice for what we want to express, music is a great help, but food... food has a way of speaking volumes and can settle the most feisty of monsters. It's pretty simple, when we are hungry we are not physically in the right head or heart space to show or give love, people be HANGRY! 

I have always had a love of food, even attempted culinary school, and the one thing I know for sure after all these years is I find most joy in seeing the people I love, and now clients, LOVE to eat. Good food, especially with good company, has a way of humbling our hearts and being thankful for a full belly and the ones who made it for us. Needless to say I have huge love for chefs, why? because they speak my language! The act of doing from a place of love.

Don't know what to make or how to make it? That's easy! First, when you go to that favorite restaurant and they pick the same dish over and over... THAT is the dish you should learn how to make! HOW? As my pastor says you gotta ask the big G in the sky....yes, Google! Google that dish, get a recipe and just try it! Follow step by step, and always remember the first time it will never be right....or maybe not the second or third, but even in the act of practicing, your partner will see how much you are trying for them to get this dish perfect!

Be patient with yourself and remember cooking is love made edible. 

Day 1: "Hey, I really appreciate you!"

Today is day one of "DateNight Planners 14 Days of Love" a lil love poke from me to you with suggestions for you to share some love with your loved ones! Remember spreading love is a joy and opportunity we get to be experience every day, not just 2/14!

So start today!

Day 1: 2/1/16

Who is one person in your life that you see more than your family or closet friends, one person who takes the time to ask how your doing every day, one person who outside of obligation still makes you smile and makes the day better? Think long and hard about the daily experiences we involve ourselves in, and now really ask yourself "Does that person even know how much I appreciate them?"

I remember when I worked in the Woolworth Building, blocks away from The World Trade Center, back in 2000/2001 I had a handful of "friends" that I gathered along the way, the friends I would see every morning at 8am as I walked in,  or 6pm as I walked out, and I knew their children's names, and I knew what holiday they were celebrating next or even what meal they were cooking. These friends, mostly created out of daily obligatory small chat, became  people I thought and cared about when I saw the towers come down that 9/11 morning, and  today I still think "I hope they are ok, that I appreciated them and I hope they know I still think of them many years later".  

Life has a way of bringing people into our lives with an opportunity to learn or teach, but until we open up those lines of communication, lines of trust and appreciation we will not see the wonderful blessing, in a friend, right in front of our eyes. 

 

Today, day 1 of 14 Days of Love, I gently encourage you to tell that person, hand them a small gift card, or even a small thank you note saying how awesome you think they are and how much you appreciate their friendship. I bet you will get a huge smile back and hey who knows maybe you will become better friends. Love comes in so many forms and like they say the more you give the more you get. Go give some love today!