Gaining friends has never been a problem for me, keeping them has been a challenge especially with my nomadic ways, but releasing friends from a place in my heart is not my strong suit. Maybe because in my adolescent mind I thought more friends=likeable… but as I see in my adult life more friends=stressful juggling act. My cousin once asked me “how many best friends do you have?” as every story started with “My best friend <Enter any of my many best friend’s names>……..”.
Day 11: 2/11/16
Friend: Noun \’frend\ A person who you like and enjoy being with; A person who helps or supports someone or something.
Now that sounds pretty darn easy right? Until your heart gets involved, life stresses, egos, and sometimes those strongest bonds can be put on the line in the most vulnerable of places in your heart. Once the sting wears off your then left with what was the fundamental need in that friendship that I was learning or growing from? Sometimes that answer fades away with time as we grow as people, into new and different individuals with new or different needs.
One of the wisest women I know gave me a great piece of advice and I really wish I could have saved that text from 2 cell phones ago, but she told me in response to a “friend breakup”, and I’m paraphrasing this “release them with love, and pray they grow stronger bonds with the friends that help and nurture them, and now allow that space in your heart to be available to you or a new friend who can help support and love you.” Honestly, she said it a lot better than that, but you get it, we only have so much heart space… time on our hands…. why not focus on those that nurture and love you, because there are so many GOOD friends out there that want to do just that.
It’s nice to know that the friends I have released are totally ok without my friendship, and as I hope they are… thriving in life with their now supportive and loving friends. I recently had a surprise breakfast party for a friend, and I looked around the room at 8am on a Wednesday morning and thought “every single one of these women I trust with my heart” and what a lucky girl I am to have friends I love, support and trust and vice versa.
Are you sharing your heart and time with friends you can fully trust? As you are nurturing and loving them, are you feeling nurtured and loved back?